Chivalry: Part 5 - First Doesn't Mean Best

Some of us men get stuck in marital paralysis. We know in the core of our being that passivity is something we must reject, but we resist stepping out for fear of failure. Somewhere we bought the lie that we have to master something before we can try something. We think that going first means we need to be the best. But sometimes just being first is the best. Let me give you a classic example.

Women love men who pray with them. It’s powerfully intimate for a man to slide alongside his wife and say “Hey babe, let me pray for us today.” But even the thought of that can cause most men to go weak in the knees. We’d rather kill an entire “honey do” list, or not watch sports for a year, than lead in prayer. And there’s good reasons: We know that she knows our underbelly so this prayer could open the door for her to put my failings in my face. And there’s also a good chance I'll run out of words before a complete sentence is formed. All of that could be happen, but there’s a greater likelihood something amazing will occur. Here’s what we can never forget. A little chivalry covers a multitude of sins. There is more grace from a godly woman who sees her man being courageous than there are sins in our heart. Chivalry scores with a godly woman every time.

Men, we don’t have to be the best. But make an effort to go first and you may well be shocked where this all lands. There’s no rule that we have to initiate in prayer. But the law of love can pull us out of our passivity and the reward will be great. So we may start with a fragmented sentence that is barely intelligible. And she may follow with something that sounds like a sound bite from an epic love story. It just doesn’t matter. First doesn’t mean the best, but when we go first, we’re at our best.