Chivalry: Part 15 - First Serve

" one who serves."

Scattered along the trail of good leadership is clear evidence of servanthood. Leaders serve and servants make great leaders. This is why leadership in a marriage has nothing to do with rank. Leadership is God calling men into positions of responsibility more than up to a position of authority. And the greatest responsibility is servanthood. Rarely is anyone who claims authority deserving of it. So the only real position for a man to take is a posture of servanthood and humility. The way to move up in God’s economy of love, is to help our wife up first–first serve.

The caricature of a man who waits to be served is nothing close to a biblical picture of love or manhood. But chivalry is in reach for any man who would apply himself. When a husband takes the time to strategize, yes strategize ways to serve his wife, the reward is amazing. In truth, the strength of a husband who leads his wife well is in his serve, not his spike. So when a man wants to honor God, he won’t look to spike her down, but rather set her up. Setting up a woman to win is one of the great gifts our wife can receive. Respect is earned and a godly woman loves to pay some respect to a man who aims to serve.

Here’s the great part, men. We don’t have to serve perfectly. Effort gets high grades from our wife, gentlemen. When a man looks for ways to love on his woman there are really any number of opportunities in a given day. Here’s some serves you can offer her:

List Serve - This is the most common serve that men joke about. But rather than waiting for the To-Do list from our wife, take her on a date and ask her to talk while you take notes. And then let her know how you’re doing at knocking them down. If we initiate the list it’s less likely we’ll hate the list. 

Relationship Serve - We just can’t leave our wives dangling in relationship challenges or stretched too thin. To the degree that our wife feels she could use our help, we need to fill the gap. With kids, parents, neighbors, teachers or any other relationship, our serve will earn some serious respect.

Surprise Serve - This is the chivalrous edge. When a man jumps in to serve where it’s needed, it’s always a good thing. But to surprise our wife and serve her when it’s totally unexpected, that’s a creative godly-man thing. Give it a shot and watch the results.

Chivalry is not dead, it just needs to be spelled s-e-r-v-e. You got this!