Chivalry: Part 11 - First Down

“…he humbled himself"

Humility isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a posture of strength. Real men need to retool what we believed to be true about women. God’s economy is so up-side-down from what we learned in the locker room. And the way a woman is truly loved is so radically counter to the pick-up/hook-up strategies on the streets today. The most powerful posture we can take in our marriage is to initiate in humility. Be the first one down with a humble heart and your marriage will thrive–it’s the way of a leading-loving servant…it’s the way Jesus loved us.

A humble husband is a turn-on to any godly woman. And humility isn’t a spiritual gift, it’s a spiritual choice. When the husband is first down and willing to take a knee of humility before God and his woman, it’s a stroke of leadership genius and the truly humble man never intended for it to be that way. When we humble ourselves like Christ, we are aimed at a huge marital win. When we’re willing to be the "first down” in a posture of true humility  we send a signal that tenderness of heart is to be cherish and valued. And when two people go to their knees together, it’s our power. Here’s the only real kicker, men, we need to be the "first down".

But what does humility look like? It’s more than words. Humility has actions, that when in motion, proves to your wife, “he’s the real deal”! Here’s a few big ones:

Teachable - The first test for true humility is teachability. If a man claims to love God and his bride but has nothing to learn, he’s a fraud. I know that sounds tough but it’s true. But we can change and become genuinely humble. It involves coming to grips with the fact that we don’t have all the answers and that we need help from others. Teachability is the greatest evidence of true humility.

Vulnerable - Jesus did it and great husbands follow in his foot steps. Jesus was honest enough with someone that his battles with temptation came into the light and his struggle with going to the cross became known. Vulnerability is the mark of a man who admits his humanity and knows the power of being honest with his struggles. 

Help-able - Yep, I made a word. But God gave us our wives to encourage us, see around corners, and basically "assist someone who is otherwise incapable”. That’s the rough definition of Helpmate. Our wife has qualities and attributes that we desperately need. Be help-able and it’s a true sign that you’re humble.

Chivalry looks best when we’re on our knees, not cowering like wimps but being fueled by God in a posture of need. Be the first down and soon your wife will join you. It’s a powerful place to be.