Chivalry: Part 12 - First Hope

“All things are possible…"

"Keep looking up.” “It’s not over till it’s over.” “All things are possible…” These aren’t empty words, these are the mantra’s of people who believe in a gracious and good God–a God of hope and possibility. And what a gift to give away, the gift of seeing the God of hope who greets us with new mercy each new day. This world is starving for hope and there's no better person to offer trays of hope, than to our wife. When a man initiates hope into his marriage, it can dramatically change things. When a husband looks at his wife while they both face a crisis and says, “honey, we serve a God who is bigger than our impossibilities”, hope begins to grow. Chivalry speaks into his wife’s heart the very words Jesus spoke to a person who was struggling with belief, “all things are possible”. Real men look to be the one who offers "first hope”.

Jesus made a habit of breathing words of hope into people with questions or despair. He gave courage and confidence to the disenfranchised, the discouraged, and the displaced. Jesus is our model, men. It’s the life of Christ that is our template for how to love our wife, and Jesus constantly served up hope. We can do this, men. And when our focus is on what’s possible rather than what seems impossible, we join Christ in a message of redemption, hope and real change. One closely held secret of great marriages is that they offer each other more encouragement than correction. Our bride lives in a world that drips with negativity, comparison, and judgment. We can be for our wife a voice that is the first to offer hope.

Now, we don’t need to be a type “A” personality or change a thing about how God designed us. But all of us can choose to offer hope. And there are specific areas that we can speak hope into, that even her best friends can’t touch.

How She Sees Herself - Even the most confident women are bombarded with false accusations and shame. There’re recordings and images running through our wife’s mind that must be sliced up, beaten down and kicked out. When we take the time to speak truth, hope and possibility into our bride’s heart and mind, we’re in our finest warrior posture.  

How Others See Her - This battle never goes away because people are here to stay. We tend to bump into each other and splash stuff that needs to be cleaned up. Often times relational challenges can push our woman, just like us, into a hole. But we have the privilege to “hope” her out. Yes, hope, truth and simple words of encouragement can help our wife from getting eaten alive.

How we see her -  Men, we’re our wife's backstop. I’ve come to believe that God hard wired women for multiple tasks because they have multiple tasks. When life is coming at her a few things can slip past. This is when we step in. When a man rehearses for his wife all the things he sees that didn’t get dropped and all the ways she’s kicking proverbial tail, it brings light and life into her heart. 

Chivalry is still all the rage. And a man who offers first hope is first among equals.