When Judas Is Your Friend

Betrayal is a brutal. It is most devastating because of just how personal it really is. A casual friend, co-worker, or store owner you do business with, can only betray you at a surface level. But the deeper the friendship the more painful the betrayal. Don't avoid the emotion of it but do avoid getting stuck in a corner that makes the wounding worse and prolongs the drama.

Relationships can be tough, but things get a whole lot healthier when we get out of corners. One of the best practical tools I ever received was just several years ago. It's a practical counseling tool (commonly called the 'drama triangle'). This tool released me to see how simple it is to apply scripture when we understand the tough spot we're in.

You might have been betrayed. It may even be cloaked as something healthy or even spiritual. But don't feed the betrayal monster. We all need to understand how relationships get trapped in corners. Here are the three corners and the truth that can set you free.

VICTIM - This is an easy corner to stand in as we all can identify someone who has betrayed us or injured us. To step out of the victim corner is not to minimize the offense or the pain. But stepping out of the corner finally gives us a chance to breath and live. Being a victim is truly a tragic event, but living as a victim is a tragic way to live. Own the pain that has come your way and step away from the victim corner. Please see II Corinthians 4:7-12

RESCUER - When we step into this corner we can preempt what God is trying to do. Often we see our role as needing to save a person who betrayed us–to make everything OK for them. Clearly we should never walk away from a critical need, but truth and coddling are two different things. The greatest gift we can give anyone is to learn to trust in God and to allow God's power to save them. We simply can't get in God's way when he's trying to save a life on his terms. Please see II Corinthians 12:9-10 

PERSECUTOR - This is a corner that provides some cheap relief but no satisfaction. The main reason to step out of this corner is to allow God to deal with people from his vantage point. We expend valuable energy and time trying to deal a hand of justice for the betrayal. This is the ultimate trap. The person we persecute now has us fighting at their level–a low level. There is zero justice or justification for playing the persecutor. We have a life to live and a God who handles injustice to perfection. Please see Romans 12:19

If you never stand in these three corners, you stand to thrive in Christ!