Chivalry Wins

Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love. I Corinthians 16:13-14

Okay men, here’s the good news…chivalry still gets style points! In a world where the distinctive line blurs between male/female, women still love their men to be manly. The plain truth is that women and men need the seasoning each gender brings to the table. We are completely equal and yet totally different. Real men love to have their life flavored by a good woman. And women need their man to be THE man - it’s a required spice of life, just ask most women. 

There is a "code of conduct” that became popular as the Titanic was sinking into deadly waters. The mad scramble on its listing decks was to get as many women and children into life rafts as was possible. The code is branded into history - “Women and Children First”! This code of conduct that played out on that fateful night of April 14, 1912 is what makes the story epic. Imagine if it was “each man for himself” or “each man did what was right in his own eyes”. This would just be another tragic watery grave of shame. But the Titanic lives on because of heroism, valor and chivalry, more than almost any other reason.

This code has roots that reach back thousands of years. The code of chivalry and respect for women and children was cooked up by God himself. It’s the rightful order of things. And when we get the order out of whack, we lose a wonderful story and gain only shame. We need a revival of the code. And that revival needs to begin with you - soon you’ll have an epic tale that someone else will tell.

Here's a few key steps you can take today to reclaim Christ-like Chivalry:

  • Be a man of God. This sounds mountainous but it's the choice to set down self-will and be God's man, today. Stu Weber coined the phrase Tender Warrior and that captures the heart of true man of God. We aren't called to be soft but to be tender – as tender as our Savior. We also can't be passive. Passivity is a result of the fall but Jesus placed his Spirit in us and we can bravely stand as warriors who reject passivity and take responsibility. 
  • Be an initiator not a responder. You don't have to be a Type A guy to initiate. Some of God's greatest men are quiet but they step up and step out, not waiting for prodding or poking. But this initiation can only be done in response to prayerful surrender to Jesus and submitting to his calling. As a disciple of Christ we listen to the voice of God and move when he calls. Faithful men fail forward and no one faults a man who follows the leading of God.
  • Be a learner. Chivalrous men are learning men. We learn from other men, women, and people who we meet in those God moments of life. But the greatest men on this earth have someone bigger than themselves or others to give them direction – God alone! And men who are learners lean into God's word because they've seen the folly of flying by the seat of their pants. 

Chivalry still gets style points today. Rack the points moment by moment and day by day. Go get a win...God is cheering for you!

Chivalry Part 3 - Men Go First

Marriage can’t be treated as a business transaction or a partnership. Sadly, the amount of marriages that languish or fail, rival the amount of businesses that languish or fail. Marriage isn’t a 50/50 relationship with measured parts of contribution. Any "meet you in the middle” agreements will never work. Nobody really knows where the “middle” is, and we always overestimate how far we’ve traveled.

We need a new strategy. God knew this would be a problem so he said something real simple but incredibly difficult, “Husbands, loves your wives as Christ loved the church”. In plain terms, “Men go first”. 

The reason headship is so controversial is because it’s either abused or passively neglected. The degree to which it carries any authority, it carries far more responsibility. But servant leadership is beautiful, and gorgeous it can be. When men initiate like Jesus, women have a better environment to respond well.

Now, I’m going to recommend a question that is tough for us men to ask. It’s easy to point, deny, explain…et.al. But this is the God sized question: Is there an area of my wife’s life that if I began serving her in, it would radically display my love for her, and thereby deepen our intimacy? I’m not saying that every gap in a wife is tied to her husband, but I am saying that godly men ask a simple question: Am I leading and loving my wife like Christ loves the church? It’s a gut check, but asking ourselves how we’re doing as an initiating man is a great and biblical discipline. 

Chivalry still gets style points. Women still love manly men. Christ initiated in his sacrificial love for the church. So real men go first.

Ephesians 5:25

Chivalry: Part 2 - Secret Strength

"...but to serve"

The strength of a man has been marked, measured and sculpted since the beginning of time. Men can't resist flexing, comparing, bragging and the more slender will resort to self-deprecating. It’s all about power and a man wants to feel like he wields some power.

But rather than God telling men to relax and settle for being girly men, he casts a vision for a new kind of power and strength. This power requires no supplements or protein powder, no crazy low-rep/high-weight lifting regime, and shooting-up HGH (Human Growth Hormone) is out of the equation - even God will fine you for that.

This secret strength is tough to appropriate in our lives because men tend to default to what’s visible. We're hard-wired to not do it unless it can produce results and I mean quickly. It’s the toughest discipline to learn, but the results are undeniable.

Okay, it’s time to reveal the secret. Here it is: God makes men into irresistible hunks of burning love by building us into strong servants - servants who lead and love with valor. That’s it, the secret is servanthood.

A woman who feels loved and led by a humble man who’s aim is to serve his wife - is a truly turned-on woman. Men who exercise all the muscles of servanthood are well proportioned towers of manhood. Some have focused getting strong in a specific area but would benefit big-time by allowing God to work us out in those areas that are naturally weaker and need more attention.

The balance of these blogs will show us all the ways God intended for us to exercise this secret strength. The bulk of our content will be casting a vision for what would happen if you dared to let God work-over every part of you. The path isn’t easy, but the results will be amazing. 

Matthew 20:28

Chivalry Part 1 - The Code

Okay men, here’s the good news…chivalry still gets style points! In a world where the distinctive line blurs between male/female, women still love their men to be manly. The plain truth is that women and men need the seasoning each gender brings to the table. We are completely equal and yet totally different. Real men love to have their life flavored by a good woman. And women need their man to be THE man - it’s a required spice of life, just ask most women. 

The Code
There is a "code of conduct” that became popular as the Titanic was sinking into deadly waters. The mad scramble on its listing decks was to get as many women and children into life rafts as was possible. The code is branded into history - “Women and Children First”! This code of conduct that played out on that fateful night of April 14, 1912 is what makes the story epic. Imagine if it was “each man for himself” or “each man did what was right in his own eyes”. This would just be another tragic watery grave of shame. But the Titanic lives on because of heroism, valor and chivalry, more than almost any other reason.

This code has roots that reach back thousands of years. The code of chivalry and respect for women and children was cooked up by God himself. It’s the rightful order of things. And when we get the order out of whack, we lose a wonderful story and gain only shame. We need a revival of the code. And that revival needs to begin with you - soon you’ll have an epic tale that someone else will tell.

She Builds Her House

I love strong women. Well, I better love them because I'm surrounded by them. One of the strongest women in my life is my bride, Junanne. She's not loud but she knows what she believes and she's not afraid to share it. 

But the coolest thing about Junanne is that her words are almost always aimed at building me up. Even the tough stuff she has to share with me is given with a heartfelt desire for my best. She's told me more than once, "I tell you because I love you". Now that's a strong and godly woman.

Check out this proverb... 

The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. Proverbs 14:1

Every wise women is a hard worker. House building is a really tough job. Sometimes the strength of a woman can sting a bit. But I'm thankful for the strong woman God has given me. 

Rebekah Merkle presents a view of Proverbs 14:1 that is worth the read. Click the title below.
Wise Women Build: The March to Real Dignity

Rebekah Merkle   and her husband have five young children and live in Moscow, Idaho. She is the author of   Eve in Exile  .

Rebekah Merkle and her husband have five young children and live in Moscow, Idaho. She is the author of Eve in Exile.

Pure Chivalry

Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love. I Corinthians 16:13-14

Okay men, here’s the good news…chivalry still gets style points! In a world where the distinctive line blurs between male/female, women still love their men to be manly. The plain truth is that women and men need the seasoning each gender brings to the table. We are completely equal and yet totally different. Real men love to have their life flavored by a good woman. And women need their man to be THE man - it’s a required spice of life, just ask most women. 

There is a "code of conduct” that became popular as the Titanic was sinking into deadly waters. The mad scramble on its listing decks was to get as many women and children into life rafts as was possible. The code is branded into history - “Women and Children First”! This code of conduct that played out on that fateful night of April 14, 1912 is what makes the story epic. Imagine if it was “each man for himself” or “each man did what was right in his own eyes”. This would just be another tragic watery grave of shame. But the Titanic lives on because of heroism, valor and chivalry, more than almost any other reason.

This code has roots that reach back thousands of years. The code of chivalry and respect for women and children was cooked up by God himself. It’s the rightful order of things. And when we get the order out of whack, we lose a wonderful story and gain only shame. We need a revival of the code. And that revival needs to begin with you - soon you’ll have an epic tale that someone else will tell.

Here's a few key steps you can take today to reclaim Christ-like Chivalry:

  • Be a man of God. This sounds mountainous but it's the choice to set down self-will and be God's man, today. Stu Weber coined the phrase Tender Warrior and that captures the heart of true man of God. We aren't called to be soft but to be tender – as tender as our Savior. We also can't be passive. Passivity is a result of the fall but Jesus placed his Spirit in us and we can bravely stand as warriors who reject passivity and take responsibility. 
  • Be an initiator not a responder. You don't have to be a Type A guy to initiate. Some of God's greatest men are quiet but they step up and step out, not waiting for prodding or poking. But this initiation can only be done in response to prayerful surrender to Jesus and submitting to his calling. As a disciple of Christ we listen to the voice of God and move when he calls. Faithful men fail forward and no one faults a man who follows the leading of God.
  • Be a learner. Chivalrous men are learning men. We learn from other men, women, and people who we meet in those God moments of life. But the greatest men on this earth have someone bigger than themselves or others to give them direction – God alone! And men who are learners lean into God's word because they've seen the folly of flying by the seat of their pants. 

Chivalry still gets style points today. Rack the points moment by moment and day by day. Go get a win...God is cheering for you!