Chivalry: Part 14 - First Touch

“…his right hand embraces me."

Love is more than a fleeting emotion, it’s an investment that touches the soul of a woman, and oftentimes a gentle touch is very thing that’s most needed. When a man takes the initiative to love his wife, hang on, the fireworks of love will be on full display. But the goal here is more than just “good sex” as our culture is prone to call it. It’s intimacy that produces depth in relationship and great sex is the result. And intimacy keeps on giving if we make a consistent investment into it on an ongoing basis. Love is both incredibly strong and tremendously fragile. But here’s the promise: If we invest the time and initiate love toward the woman we love, the strands of love will grow so strong over time, that no challenge or even tragedy can threaten that union–that's why chivalrous men offer the first touch. 

When a man loves a woman and initiates with that first touch, it sends a message to his wife of affection. But when a man moves toward his wife with touch that’s not intended to close a deal, it sends a message that says, “You are secure with me. I’m your man and no one else has my heart but you”. The touch of a man who has no expectations is like pouring confidence and security into the soul of his wife. A woman can feel deep affirmation without a single word spoken. There are many gifts most men can’t afford for their wives. But the language of love is priceless, and touch is the currency of love. 

When a man learns to touch his wife it shakes the gates of hell. While evil tries to isolate and discourage our wives, one well-timed hug can make everything different. Pain becomes manageable, challenges look crossable, and garden variety discouragement begins to disappear. So a commitment to love our bride as Christ loved the church, means that men will live to offer the first touch.

There are several ways to touch that matches the moment. Each of them hold a unique power.

Sensual Touch - Even this is not what we learned in a locker room or bragged about with the guys. Sensual touch is aimed at communicating love and commitment for our wife and not ourself. It says, “I love you for who you are and the gift you are in my life”.

Consoling Touch - Our wife is no different than us. Some days are just plain lousy. But rather than talking our wife out of what she’s feeling, we can take a moment to meet her there. When we wrap an arm around our wife and linger there for some time, nothing more needs to be said.

Affirming Touch - There’s nothing quite like cheering for our woman. When we throw a little passion into our affirmation we can warm her heart. Find creative ways to catch your wife winning in life and make it a habit of trying to pick her feet off the floor at least once a month. She’ll love to see you coming home. 

Chivalry knows that touch isn’t about us closing a deal, it’s about making a big deal of our wife. Go ahead, offer the first touch.

Touched By God...Never The Same

The right touch can change everything. It's those final touches that makes something extraordinary, and sets it apart from what's common. There's never been a masterpiece that didn't have a masters touch that crafted it. This is a timeless principle that is founded in creation and confirmed in mans struggle to overcome. The desire we have to count for something - to conquer common - is a worthy aspiration and birthed in us by the master himself. But there is something to be learned from the mantra of the true masterpieces. Those who are mature, possess a secret and they hold it with great care. It's a truth that's available to all but cherished by few. Those who are wise and see what is unseen can be heard to repeat something like this: "We are shaped, changed and refined ONLY by the touch of God." When God touches our lives and we allow him to sustain his hold on us, it will change everything.

Changing ourselves is as futile as trying to keep the Law of God. All of our effort can only increase our frustration and peak our awareness of our impotence to truly change. Trying to shape our own life must be exchanged for the touch of God. God calls his touch, "The law of the Spirit". It's his touch of the Spirit that sets us free from, "The law of sin and death". And when the Spirit gets its hands on our life, a masterpiece begins to unfold. What was once a lump of lostness, is now taking shape into something that will steal a breath from us. But the rarity of this experience is not a reflection of its lack of accessibility. This is available to anyone who would dare to humble themselves and stay under the hand of God. What God's Spirit touches, is a masterpiece in the making.

The right touch can change everything. Here's several great evidences of how God's Spirit shapes us, from Romans 8:

  • We are freed from soul-scarring condemnation. 
  • Our minds are filled with deep and refreshing thoughts that brings peace.
  • There will be a sense of being fully alive, even in bodies that are deteriorating.
  • We see God differently and recognize him as our "dad".
  • The touch of God strengths us in our weakness.
  • When we just can't put words to a prayer, the Spirit jumps in and prays for us.

This can begin to happen now. Don't grieve too long over wasted years. Ignore the noise of resistance. Bow low and watch what God's touch can do to you! 

Romans 8